welcome to my diary!
thursday 01.29.2026
ive done it! ive somehow made it to the end of the semester... today was the last day of school before the end of semester and grades are (supposedly) coming out tmrw on friday. but i am so freaking happy im done. i have tmrw off and im honestly not to worried about my grades! if my calculating and all the planning and studying i did pays off i should be in a pretty good spot! so thankfully my anxiety isnt that bad. yet anyway.
even though my anxiety isnt as bad as it usually is im still a little anxious. ive always been really hard on myself especially with my grades. for all my my life ive always been like "the smart kid" or if you will "gifted", i had straight A's always no matter what. but now that im in highschool im not that person anymore. like i know im still smart but im no longer getting those straight A's. and theres nothing wrong with that. but i still feel that pressure to do the best and to be the best, so even though i know its okay to get something other than an A or first place i have a hard time remembering that sometimes. i have to remind myself that im a whole lot more than just my grades. and sometimes its tough and i get in my head about its important to remember that thats okay to.
i also wanted to talk a bit about one of my many hobbies! journaling! i love journaling, i keep a couple journals but i wanted to talk a bit ab my deco journal! ive been getting more into deco recently, ive always been into stationary but never really had anything to do with it, and i made one of my first full spreads recently (last night) and im really proud of it! and i wanted to share it here. this is a current favs spread and its a clover/green theme which isnt something i would normally lean to just because im more into the pastels and everything. and while there are a lot of things that im not sure if im a fan of i have to remember that i had a lot of fun while making this!
im not really sure why i added my favorite aesthetics to it but i didnt know what else to add so here we are! anyway like i said im super happy with this spread, there are some stickers and other random things that looking at it now im not liking much. but again, thats okay!
on the topic of deco and journaling and stationary... i just ordered some more stickers! so i want to do a little sticker haul once i get those. maybe buying some new stickers wasnt the smartest financial decision buts its alright. they make me happy. and i actually use them now! even though i only have $2 in my account right now... its still worth it! ill be getting some absolutely adorable stickers soon that im already so excited to use! (i rlly need to be better with my spending)
i want to start doing some more structured diary entries. so i guess doing a few entries here and there that are more in blog form. so i think at some point i might do an entry about what i read in 2025! and then we'll see how it goes from there. i think though im gonna make this diary a mix of more structured entries and then entries like this where im just kinda rambling. i think it could be a lot of fun and also just easier for me since it will feel like less of a drag, if i forced myself to only do those structured blog entries i would barely ever make any entries. but i still want to do them! so this is my comporomise.
sunday 01.24.2026
its going to be a stressful day/week for me. its the end of the semester this upcoming friday which means i have officially entered finals week! yayyyy! i just love finals so much... but because its finals week i am stressed out. i have been having a super hard time concentrating this weekend as i try to get projects done and study for my finals. and of course i forgot my adhd meds at my moms house... so ive been having a hard actually getting stuff done. but i have 2 huge projects i need to finish (by tomorrow) and 2? 4? finals to study for.
the only project ive actually made a lot of progress on is my poster thing for my french class. but that project has been easy for me to work on because its mainly a drawing/art thing and the writing i have to do is really easy. so its something i dont need a whole lot of concentration to do, and if i was taking my meds i would be able to crank it out in like max 1hr30mins. but im not taking my meds so its taken me about 2-3hrs.
i have a ballet lesson later today though and im hoping that the excersize will regulate me enough for me to fully lock in afterwards. i find that when im having a really hard time concentrating and im getting distracted easily, just getting in some quick excersize can really help, even if its just like one set of squats or like some lunges or a little stretch even. so if you have adhd (or your just having trouble concentrating) i would 100% reccomend trying it.
friday 01.22.2026
yay first diary entry! as i write this the website isnt actually published yet... i still have to figure out how im going to do that. but i wanted to make a diary entry anyway! (mostly just to test out how im going to do this). im still trying to figure out a bunch of different things for this website and i dont think it will ever be truly finished. but ive made a lot of progress so far! so i thought i would make an entry talking about the beginning of my journey trying to make this website.
i could not tell you why i decided that taking on a project in the middle of the school year, at the end of the semester, was a good idea. but i did. and now im here! i actually decided to do this because i watched a youtube video of someone looking at personal websites and i thought to myself 'hey, i want to do that'. was this a mistake? who knows. it is defnitely however an undertaking i do not have the time for... but i have made time! somehow.
when i started this website (last week) i had absolutely 0 coding experience. actual coding experience. the little "coding" i did was on scratch in elemantary school and a camp i went to when i was a kid where we built robots and made code for them. but that was all years ago. and none of it was actually that useful... especially because i have basically no memory of any of it. so i started learning how to code for this website with 0 background knowledge and absolutely no idea what i was doing. and i still dont know what im doing. but hey! this website seems to work, mostly, so it looks like im doing pretty well! i started learning how to code through youtube tuts and then i was introduced to w3 schools which is where i actually learned how to do this. except the problem is i still dont really know how to code. so if your wondering 'how did she learn how to code in 1 week??', well i didnt. i spent one week learning the absolute basics and then i pretty much just looked up how to do everything else. which really taught me nothing.
after learning how to code i pulled pretty much everything else out of my butt. by looking things up. and through much trial and error we have arrived here! and while there is still so much i want to do and so much room for improvement. i realize that this is a project that is gonna take a long time. it will take me a long time to actually learn how to code and i need to be patient with myself. which is maybe harder than actually learning how to code. i am not a patient person and whenever im learning something i have a extremely hard time reminding myself that learning things take time. and i always end getting frustrated with myself when im not magically capable of doing something perfectly as soon as i learn it. so similar to every other time i try something new im going to have to do my best to not get to frustrated and give up.
at this point in my website journey the next big step is publishing the website... it took me a while to figure out how i want to publish this website. at first i was thinking of using neocities but ive decided that neocities is to similar to a social media platform and thats not what im looking for. after doing some research (watching a youtube video) i landed on using a platform called vercel. i ran into 2 problems though. the first is that vercel updates directly from github and i have been using firebase to do all my coding, this is a relatively easy thing to fix tho so its not much of a actualy problem its mostly just annoying, the second problem is that if you want to publish on vercel you have to sign into your github acc (easy right?) and then you need to use your phone to get a confirmation code. this is where i have a problem. at the moment my phone is broken and cannot get texts from andriods or confirmation codes... this is a problem that could very easily be fixed if i just went to a apple store. except i cant go by myself because i cant drive. so i have been asking my mom for a total of 2 months to go get my phone fixed. but until that happens i will not be able to use vercel. so rigt now my new plan is to publish through firebase and then once i get my phone fixed to publish through vercel. or if i find out that i hate publishing through firebase ill enlist the help of someone else and use their phone to get a confirmation code.
hello welcome to dollescent dreams!! this website was created by me, dreamy! i created this website so i could have a little corner of the internet just for me. i hope you enjoy your time in this small corner of the web <3
my favs~ 
